Welcome to your Personality

Daniel Goleman (California, 1946) is an American psychologist, journalist, and writer, recognised worldwide as the main populariser of the concept of emotional intelligence.
Although the term was initially coined by Peter Salovey and John Mayer in 1990, Goleman brought it to global attention with his 1995 bestseller, Emotional Intelligence.
His theory is based on the idea that personal and professional success does not depend solely on IQ (intelligence quotient), but also on skills such as self-awareness, self-discipline, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
Goleman argues that these emotional competencies are key predictors of effective leadership and psychological well-being, and they can be learned and improved throughout life.
It is important to know oneself to assess our level of Emotional Intelligence and to identify areas for improvement, as this is something that will always be relevant.
We should ask ourselves the following question as an aim for improvement:
Why do some people seem to have everything under control while you explode over anything?
The answer is not that they are stronger… but that they have Emotional Intelligence
Goleman explained it through 5 principles that change lives. I summarise them in this article
1. Self-awareness
2. Self-regulation
3. Motivation
4. Empathy
5. Social Skills
Bonus: Self-compassion
And here are Goleman’s 5 principles of Emotional Intelligence
True intelligence isn’t measured by grades or titles… it’s measured by how you manage what you feel and how you treat others (and yourself).
Which of these 6 principles will you work on first?
1. Self-awareness
It is the foundation of everything: recognising and understanding your own emotions and how they influence your behaviour.
To do this you should:
- Observe your own emotions without judging them
- Identify your triggers
- Recognise strengths and areas for improvement
2. Self-regulation
We need to learn to manage our emotions in healthy and adaptive ways.
This involves:
- Controlling impulses
- Staying calm under pressure
- Recovering quickly from setbacks
It’s not about feeling nothing. It’s about not letting emotions dominate us.
3. Motivation
Using our emotions to pursue goals and persist through obstacles.
This requires:
- Finding purpose in what we do
- Maintaining realistic optimism
- Committing to our objectives
Emotions do not hold us back but propel us forward when used correctly.
4. Empathy
The simplest to explain but not always easy to practise.
Empathy is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.
We must understand and share the feelings of others.
To do this, we should:
- Listen actively
- Recognise others’ emotions
- Respond with compassion
Empathising with others does not make us weak but human.
5. Social Skills
Building healthy relationships and managing them effectively and harmoniously is essential.
- Communicating assertively
- Resolving conflicts
- Inspiring and leading with empathy
The best connections stem from Emotional Intelligence.
In addition to these 5 factors, there is a sixth, which is none other than Self-compassion.
This is the ingredient that Goleman did not include but that is practised in his own therapy.
Self-compassion is treating ourselves as we would a friend who fails or suffers.
To do this, we should:
- Speak to ourselves kindly instead of criticising
- Accept our mistakes as part of being human
- Care for ourselves when emotionally exhausted
Self-compassion is not a sign of weakness but the greatest act of Emotional Intelligence we can practise.